When I sat down to write this article I asked myself, "When was the last time you cried, Meg?"
With that being said, I want to clarify that I'm writing this about healthy tears. I've never been depressed. I've been deeply hurt and have suffered emotional pain, trauma and sadness, but I cannot speak about depression tears. I can really only speak from the perspective of being in general, emotionally stable.
So when I asked myself the question above, It took me a few seconds to remember the last time I cried. My pause reminded me that I'm generally a happy person. I really haven't had a big cry in months. Because I'm a life coach, I immediately questioned if this is a good or bad thing. I suspect I'm experiencing an upswing, which I'll explain later.
Then I remembered the last time I cried. I was at my desk at work, which can sometimes feel very isolating and sad because I'm generally alone in the office and there are no windows or sink. During that teary moment, I was texting my best friend and realizing some heavy stuff. During that moment my eyes welled up, I blinked, a tear or two streamed down my face, and then I felt better.
Thankfully, I also tear up pretty regularly from laughter- that's the thing about crying, you don't always have to be sad when you cry. It's always useful to ask yourself, "What are these tears of?" Side note about laughter: Don't hold back, ever. If anything laugh harder and louder. I've had to remove myself from work meetings because I can't calm my shit and I don't want to. Not sorry. I digress.
Anyway, back to the other kind of crying. I know I'm stating the obvious here when I say crying is natural, normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It's not a sign of weakness (it's a sign of strength). Everyone needs to cry. Indeed, horrible things happen in life and these things will bring uncontrollable snotty blubbery tears that leave you lightheaded and keep you up until 2am. But what if I told you that it's possible to cry, with wisdom?
I know it might sound a little odd, but try to keep the following perspective on your tears:
1) Your tears are trying to tell you something important.
2) Your tears (or a single tear) are honest. They're an indication of deep truth.
3) Tears allow big shifts and change to happen gracefully. Tears bring change without force.
4) Crying will move through you like a wave.
5) Also, keep in mind the Law of Upswings
What's the Law of Upswings? I invented it! I've been living by it in strong faith since I was 18. It's similar to Isaac Newton's law of physics, which states that for every action there's an equal, opposite reaction. The Law of Upswings applies this concept to hardships and joy in that, for every low point, there's an equal and opposite high point to follow. So, the lower the low, the higher the high. Every time I cry, of pain or of sadness, I look forward to something beautiful and joyful to come. Honestly, I've cried and smiled at the same time, miserable over a heartbreak yet excited for the upswing (perhaps a future, better love)! *Like I said earlier, this might not apply to people suffering with depression, in which it can sometimes feel impossible to escape the negative thoughts or be happy.
Plain-old, mindless crying is awful and it sucks. But crying with wisdom is your ticket to resilience. When you cry with wisdom, crying becomes a strength. It's a release. It's your body is listening to your heart and mind. Crying is change happening. Crying is your truth indicator. Crying is your teacher.