Being that we are who we are at a soul level from birth, I have always been highly empathetic, intuitive, and psychic. This brought me into an infancy and childhood of visitations from light beings, feeling the emotions of my family, and always feeling a sense of not belonging. There was this underlying anxiousness of needing to be somewhere else. To add to the mix, my household all the way up to adulthood was filled with an inconsistent family dynamic. The cacophony cultivated between the four walls I shared with my parents and sister was difficult to digest. We were conditioned to not share what happened at home.
I was programmed from a young age to not express my emotions. I was conditioned to not share my story. I was conditioned that the emotions I was feeling were not justified and was wrong in my experience. I found myself meditating a lot of my life. At the time I looked at it as “pretending to sleep” so that they would leave me alone (I got so good I was able to hold the trance state even when my sister lifted my lids). Reaching these higher meditative states and nowhere to anchor into consistency or control... my wounded child turned to food.
At entering college, the transformation of healing began to transpire. Delving onto the spiritual path this last decade, with a main focus on Reiki the last 7 years allowed me to raise my frequency and lift myself from the chaos and hurt being held on to. But something was still feeling void and I would find cycles of the highest of highs, a pause and turning to the cycle of binge eating once again. Through all the transformation, holding space for others, and living in alignment – there was still something inside of me that wanted to come out. I was denying this, and in another remembering, I turned to a new way to working with the energy and creativity moving through me… I embraced it and share it.
It wasn’t until I decided to rise above the fear I was holding onto around expressing myself and sharing my story, that I was able to begin to see those patterns released. In my journey, I have found the more I am creating and sharing- the more empowered and FULL I feel. The type of fullness that is truly desired. My heart and soul feel full, allowing relationship with food to be one full of love and pleasure seeing how it helps and supports this beautiful body of mine to live fully and create.
3 mantras that I have adopted while stepping fully into my creative expression letting go of binge eating disorder have been:
The more I create, the fuller my soul.
This mantra helps to anchor me into my creative process when I get anxious and want to revert to old ways. This doesn’t mean not eating at all, of course. This came to me during the week of writing my first self-published book, Rise Above Fear. I would be deep in a flow and then fear would pop up and my programmed response has always been go distract with food. Now this isn’t conducive for many reasons- the energy that could be going towards creative work was going to digestion. Also, a quick lesson in energetics 101: where our focus goes, energy flows.
This goes beyond consuming food too. We are a culmination of everything that we take in through our days. We live in a society full of opportunities to distract and consume. Commercialism, social media, etc... The more we can tune out distractions that have us consume- we create more space to create. A personal practice I find works magic for me is when I have a lot of creative work or want to tap into my intuition more deeply, I delete my social media’s for a week to get closer back to my truth.
Sweet energy of the divine, thank you for cleansing this beautiful body of mine.
As someone who lives in recovery from binge eating, a huge part of the journey has been to learn to really fall in love and appreciate this beautiful body. I mean, the human body is amazing. And we wouldn’t be able to do all the amazing things and experience this life in all it’s endless possibilities without it. Our words carry more power than we realize most times. This prayer helps me to continuously return to and adorn my body. It also makes space for the Divine to wash me with the sweet light of purity through the day to keep my vibration elevated and clean. The higher the vibe, the sweeter the flow.
The more I express and share what is coming thru, the more I heal myself, my family, and others.
I grew up programmed that sharing my truth, my story, or who I wanted to be was not allowed. This is so common for society these days, I mean, we have all just been learning from the ancestors ahead of us that we’re going off what they knew. They are forgiven- they were doing the best they could.
This programming though had me hiding behind walls that I didn’t even realize were there for the longest time! The more I put my voice out there, let go of fear and share what wants to come out- the more I heal. The higher I rise. And the more I heal my family and others. We are all here to share authentically and be the fullest expression of ourselves. As we do that, we go on as a more aligned version of self. Is it worth it? Well, first of all, it’s really fun and more what we would probably think of as our “best life”. And secondly, this helps others see that it is possible. You help others remember that freedom of the spirit is not only an option, but it’s a birth right.
If you are working thru binge eating and find that at the core, there tends to be eating your emotions or suppressing creativity that wants to come thru, here are some a few simple check-ins I’d recommend:
1. What am I trying to eat away right now? Name the emotion if it’s emotional eating. Pause. Feel it. Heal it. Let it pass. If you let it flow now, it’ll be gone.
2. Carry a journal with you. When desiring to eat instead of express, take out the journal and create. Maybe it’s scribbles of frustration on the page. Maybe it’s a poem. Or maybe just knowing the journal is there inspires you to dance the tension out instead.
3. Reach out to a guide, healer, or coach. Of course I am one, but there are many. You are so powerful and capable of anything, including your healing... but having a trusted ally in your corner is always a great resource to pack in your bag for the journey.
Keep shining beautiful beings, it looks great on you. Inspired to create? Want to share something that you use to turn desire or emotion into creation? Please do share in the comments.
Kelly Keefe is a Reiki Master Teacher & Vibrational Artist who shares her heart in many ways. She is the Founder of Heartspace Healing Academy, an Empowerment & Emotional Mastery Coach, Speaker, Poet and Author. You can learn more about Kelly and the rest of the Blog Squad here.